This little girl has grown up

It’s august already and I’m feeling happy, I try to apply for the university but unfortunately another problem appears from nowhere! They says registration is completely online there is no handling documents or sending it by postal services, therefore I apply online but they said “you don’t have information in noor admission’s gate so please fill in your information” I fill in my information and there’s another problem; they said “ you don’t have GAT or SAAT tests of course GAT referred to General Aptitude Test and SAAT is Standard Achievement Test but I did those tests 11 years ago maybe they don’t store it anymore in their awkward systems but what can I do now only is transferring by providing my academic records and my high school diploma and see if they gonna accept me in the same major, hopefully and finger crossed. Today 23 august I met my dad after months he came to taif these days and said we need to go out tomorrow with him and I have to bull up myself and stand high and tall and be strong to go out with him, because when every time I see him I remember the cycle of abuse I need to break. I’ll never ever forgive him for what he caused to me.

Today is 29th august and it’s my favorite person’s birthday my all time beautiful angel my sister, she turned 28th this year, I wish all the happiness out in the world for her. She’s the only one who stood beside me in my hard times with mom also, god hope they will be cherish and protected all time. I wish them health and great abundance in their lifes. I love them so much and my heart goes grateful for every moment with them. God I hope you make my dreams comes true to see them healthier than ever. I showered yesterday and wore a light white colored sweater with midi jeans skirt, I left my hair natural curls without brushing just puts cantu cream to make it smoother and shiny with deeply nurturing it. Now, I’m listening to my Spotify liked tracks and enjoying a cup of tea twice because I have nothing to do seriously, enjoy your times xx

I’m not small any more, I grow up beautifully and I want to live all my life phases and have good time doing my bucket list, I was quite when I was little can’t harm anyone but some of them harm me, didn’t worry about anything happy doing my daily tasks without complaining, helping my mom in everything, cooking food sometimes the simple things only. I was somebody to rely on even when I was small, I would never let my beloved ones down ever, I’ll stay beside them at all costs. I loved music and I used to sing but not anymore. I would go back from school and pass at a fast food restaurant and orders two burgers with my two friends, I would do this every couple of days happily. Also, most importantly I was good at studying and I loved school even with few bad memories I’ve experienced but I loved studying and passing exams too. I never done so much or work hard to get good grades I just do what I can without pushing myself but I could’ve done better of course. Growing up at a school wasn’t difficult for me and I was badly respected their on the other hand college was a mess and I couldn’t complete it until now, I don’t know why but it’s depends a lot on how people treated me but I’m over it now, I don’t care no more and I should not cling to things anymore so things can flow more peacefully with me without any drama.

8th September, sad day for the world I know their will be many protocols before they burry her body in the ground but I was deeply moved and saddened by hearing the news of Queen Elizabeth’s death, it’s an end of an era and things won’t be the same again for all of the world. I hope she Rest In Peace with her beloved husband. I remembered when I was little a moment I was hearing Scottish folk music on tv and it moved me somehow the music there’s something ancient and beautiful about it. Later when I saw the crown episodes I watched the scene where Edward the 8th plays his ancestral music and there’s tears in his eyes, I recall what I saw in tv that day and I felt he’s understood because it was heartbreaking leaving his country behind him for love. There’s always be love in our heart for those who change the world with their dedication and service. Nothing but love.

Published by Somayah

Born in 8th of July, 1993. Jeddah, Saudi Arabia living in Taif now! somayah m. is a home-loving person, who values intelligence, paper journals and hot cup of chocolate on a winter night. I enjoy the peaceful moments, Mahmoud Darwish’s poetry, reflecting, reading & writing and never neglect the small things or the little enjoyments.

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